Monday, February 26, 2007

The New McGovern?

Like George McGovern in 1972, I don't think many people expect Dennis Kucininch to do much in this current presidential race. But never underestimate an idealist. McGovern came from behind to get the Democratic Party's nomination, and well who knows? Now I doubt that this will happen, I see the nomination solidly going to Obama or Hillary, but the unexpected always lies in wait. It would certainly be fascinating to have Kucinich as president. I may like Obama in this race, but Kucinich clicks with something inside me. I mean, how many vegan politicians do you know?


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A Few, Slightly Random Thoughts on Communication


I've been a fan of Richard Linklater from the first surreal moments of Waking Life. I've been wanting to see "Before Sunset" for a long time now, and yesterday, I happened to wander past it at the CD Warehouse. Now I know, for any filmmaker, watching a film in 4:3 full screen is close to blasphemy, and VCD quality is hideous, but it didn't matter.

I haven't been entranced by a film in a while, and it was a great feeling. Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke travel through joy and awkwardness to anger and the stripping away of pretense; all in 77 minutes of non-stop dialog. It's even cooler to watch when you know that the actors, along with Linklater wrote the script together, collaborating mostly by email. And as is usual with a Linklater script, there are some pretty heady ideas thrown into the mix, but there's is a careful attention to human speech, and the conversation very rarely feels unnatural.


I really don't mean to review the film though; it, along with Rebecca Miller's heartbreaking and bittersweet The Ballad of Jack and Rose got me thinking about communication. The tension of The Ballad is created by the lack of communication, perhaps created by the fear that there were no words to describe the need characters felt. I'd like to think of myself as a good communicator, but so often I feel like I have nothing to say. And even if I do, it is with all the wrong words, though I have been improving lately. But when I write, I feel like everything generally works together just the way I want it.

I started weaving a story, just for fun, in my mind, about a couple who have completely given up on verbal communication, relying on the written word for everything. They discovered years ago that it was so easy to misunderstand speech, but through writing, they can easily convey their deepest emotions, their anger, their pain, their love, their deepest romantic feelings.

It would be sad, I think, but I wonder if, in a way, it would be more fulfilling...I suppose it might be more peaceful, less confusing. I feel like I can express myself, my inner self only through writing. It seems like when I talk, a lot of me gets lost in translation; lost in the conversion from firing synapses to thick and leaden and confused tongue.


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Sunday, February 18, 2007

Bittersweet #1

I realized, this weekend, that I'm not ready to grow up at all. I guess it's one of those things that just forces itself onto you, and well, there you are, all grown up at some point.

Being at home has been amazing, and now I'm looking down the barrel at two more weeks, less than that really, with my parents, and it doesn't feel so great. It's been a blast having conversations with them, looking forward to my Mom getting back from work so I can share some video clip of the Daily Show and revel in good 'ol American cynicism. It's been amazing to worship with my parents, who have nurtured and developed their connection with God over their respective 60+ years of life.

The problem with the loneliness that sets in before one is about to leave family and friends is that it brings up all the other bittersweet feelings of past departures. So in honor of all the bittersweetness, a collection of pictures from moments I treasure. Here's to nostalgia!


Somewhere in Collegedale, TN; Sometime in 2005.


Melody G. somewhere in Collegedale, TN; Sometime in 2005


SONscreen Film Festival, Dallas 2004


Marjorie E., MoMA, NY; Fall 2005


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Saturday, February 17, 2007

A Few Haiku

Inspired by Julius N's Valentine's Day Haiku Contest I wrote a few of my own. It's been a long time since I've written any decent poetry, and I'm not sure these qualify; but maybe they can inspire some of you out there to come up with some brilliance. It's fun, to quote Julius:

Five syllables here
Then seven syllables here
End with five more here

See what you come up with and please share.

1.
There is a secret
A small place within myself
A hidden vastness.

2.
Angel in the Machine
Battle scars and hidden wars
Her proud wings destroyed.

3.
Moses get thee down
The Infinite is vanished
Remember us Lord.

4.
She is so ragged
Filled with Holy confusion
A river run dry.

5.
She begs for your help
Trips and stumbles down the street
God in the shadows.

6.
The place in the flowers
Where love sleeps and dreams may rest
Amphibious soul.

7.
She stumbles from you
A frightened girl, rejected
God in the shadows.

8.
I am a vessel
A lonely ship on high seas
My cargo, thoughts and dreams.

9.
I am not ready
Hold me ever in stasis.
A nomad, frozen.


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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Lightbulb Moment


I had an epiphany today while I was walking home this evening. I was clutching a plastic bag in my now sweaty hand and was heading towards the stairs that lead to faculty housing. I'd picked up the bag because of my somewhat obsessive need to dispose of litter, but that's really beside the point.
As I clutched this filthy, crackling piece of plastic, I thought, "God really does love me." I don't know why I had the thought at this moment, but this was not the epiphany. It came a moment later when I realized I wasn't all that thrilled by the concept. Sure, it's great and all, but, big deal.

I was shocked. But I don't think I should have been. As Christians, especially those of us who can trace a faith tradition back many generations, we grow up enveloped with the idea that God is love. So it's no big deal, it's part of the way we see the world, the natural order of things.

This isn't good, but I'm not sure how to fix it. I don't want to be bored by the idea of a universal eternal being loving me; I want that thought to trigger emotions that I can't name.

I will say this, artists like Sarah Masen, Pedro the Lion, and (especially as of late) mewithoutYou and Psalters, have given me a glimpse, a taste of that inexpressible something. Now this isn't just a plug for these artists--though I would recommend them quickly for anyone looking for Christian music that's breaking boundaries--I just want to know what it is about them, what they say, how they sound, that can push buttons within me that only a very few people (mostly authors) have been able to do in the past?

How do we get over our somewhat bored feelings about God's love and rediscover the Philos and Agape of YHWH?


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Sick


When did this become ok again? I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of conservatives and moderates telling me that when I do speak, rarely let it be noted, about race, I'm overreacting; and I'm sick and tired of liberals thinking that they can make racial jokes because they claim they aren't racist.

Shirley Q. Liquor is the persona Charles Knipp assumes when he dons drag and blackface. Liberals tore into Isaiah Washington when he called his Grey's Anatomy co-star T.R. Knight a faggot. Fair enough. But Charles Knipp, a member of the gay community, can parade around mocking black women and posing with a watermelon and malt liqour, and there's barely a peep.

Of all people, another minority should understand what it's like to be mocked, marginalized, and stereotyped. I am sick of this from fellow liberals and those who claim to be progressives. And don't you dare try to defend yourself by declaring that you are not racist. Be women and men about it and admit when you're wrong. How dare you hide behind your facade of liberal beliefs while you dance to the same tune that hurt and disheartened black folks years ago in "less enlightened times." Prove to me that things have changed.

For more information about Shirley Q. Liquor, visit Jasmyne Cannick's page.
Alex S. from Grey Area Debates syndicated the above post with a few choice thoughts of his own.


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On Human Cruelty

Why?


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Monday, February 12, 2007

Visuals I Wish I'd Shot

Corporate America may be one of the entities I fear and distrust the most, but I've got to tip my hat to a beautifully shot ad.



An insurance company no less...why should they get all the good ads? We need to be using visuals like this for Amnesty International, Sojourners, Democracy Now!, and even Adbusters.


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A Community of the Broken

Will C. shared this Christianity Today article with me and I'd like to dub it "Most Definitely Worth a Read."

The mission organization Word Made Flesh is unusual in several respects. Founded 15 years ago, it is a young movement, with nearly all its 200 staff and volunteers well under 35 years old. Focused on serving Christ among the poorest of the poor, its staff are notable for the degree to which they move into the urban slums, red-light districts, and refugee camps where they are called to serve. They also work together in small intentional communities, a model that looks back to monasticism and forward to the quest for richer expressions of Christian community. Here, Word Made Flesh's international executive director, Chris Heuertz, responds to our big question about global mission for 2007: What must we learn, and unlearn, to be agents of God's mission in the world?

Read more...


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Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Nomadism 101: A Daytrip to Cambodia pt. 2

(Scroll Down for Part 1)

Sitting in a Thai greasy spoon can be a dangerous experience. Whenever the cook tosses her mixture of chili and spices onto the wok, a wave of fumes washes over the restaurant. Mr D. coughs loudly, declaring that he's going to have to get some fresh air and a Thai girl sitting across from us looks up, grinning impishly. She's wearing a bright orange shirt and her long ponytail is tossed carelessly over her right shoulder. She laughs silently for a moment, then returns to the food she's sharing with her parents. The wait staff cover their noses with little napkins, waiting for the fumes to pass. The woman sitting at the counter buries her nose in her thin, gray and green striped hoodie and waits wearily. Her hair is damp from the moisture, her makeup is a bit smeared, and she looks like she'd rather be anywhere else.

I take shallow breaths and watch Mr. D leave and begin to have dark fantasies about what's happening with my passport. It's gone for good, I'm sure and now I'll have to go through hell to get a new one...or maybe they're setting up some scheme in which I'll get caught with drugs once I'm across; I'll end up in a Cambodian prison for years, and leave a bearded shell of myself full of HIV and Hep B. Hmmm, maybe I'll just stop thinking.

Forty-five minutes later, my eager guides re-appear, apologizing for the delay and brandishing my passport which contains a brand new Cambodian visa. I follow them towards border control and a little Thai girl appears, holding an umbrella over my head. I half-heartedly try to dodge her, but she is persistent in her quest to keep my skin from getting any darker. We get to Thai border control, I tip her, and she disappears. I stand in line for a few minutes, and once the grumbling woman stamping passports has let me through, I re-emerge into the hot sun and stride towards the Cambodian check point. My guides appear, and walk me across the short bridge that separates the countries.

Children appear around us, begging for change. I look down at the little girl tugging at my pants and try to smile as I shake my head. She's literally dressed in rags and has these desperate, sad eyes. I feel filthy as I look up and try to ignore her. What I really want to do is grab her up in a big bear hug and tell her that it's going to be ok, that I can help her, that I can save her. But I don't, or won't, or can't. I just keep walking.

My guides tell me to wait. They again have disappeared with my passport, but I fight the urge to freak out. I'm completely in their hands, there's not much I can do. They show up with a Cambodian police officer who motions me over to his motorbike, and I hop on, with some reluctance. As we pass his buddies, they shout at him. He yells back gleefully and they laugh loudly. there are really only two options here; they're making fun of the fact that he's got a black man on his bike, or I'm at the wrong end of a bad joke that's going to end me up in Cambodian prison. I've never hoped to be called a nigger more eagerly; it's certainly better than the alternative.

He drops me off at a small building full of foreigners getting their visas approved and tells me to wait outside the building. Cambodia may be a struggling country, but they seem to have tried to make the border crossing look nice. There are several modern looking office buildings covered in blue reflective glass and what looks like a mall. The only visible difference between here and Thailand is that they drive on the right side of the road. The buildings don't distract me long because I've decided I really don't like the idea of a cop hanging on to my passport. It doesn't matter what country I'm in, police always make me nervous; and this one has my passport, and knows that I'd do a lot to get it back to relative safety in my own hands.

Thankfully, he returns quickly with the passport and we're back across the border. I have thirty more days on my visa and I can suddenly breathe again. I realized I'm soaked in sweat. The car ride back seems longer, but I enjoy the sight of the sinking sun peeking through the clouds like a bashful child peering through living room blinds as I fade in and out of sleep.


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Nomadism 101: A Daytrip to Cambodia pt. 1

Thai law being what it is, a visa issued upon arrival to this fair kingdom is limited to 30 days. If the visa holder in question wishes to supplement said visa, a 15 day extension is available in Bangkok; anything longer must be obtained across the border in Laos, Malaysia, or Cambodia. Mynannmar's right out.
What follows is the tale of my quest to obtain those coveted thirty extra days on my visa.

I wake up this morning expecting to get ready for a quick trip into downtown Bangkok to get a 15 day extension on my visa. It won't be enough, but right now, it's the only thing we have time to do. Expectations are interesting things...my morning continues with my Dad cheerfully popping his head into my room and announcing that I'll be heading to the Cambodian border with a man I'll call Mr. D. A, fellow American. He used to teach here at the college and still lives in the area.

By 8, we're heading to the border. The sun is rising, but the air is thick with haze from all the slash and burning that happens this time of year. But today, this doesn't bug me as much as it usually does, I'm excited; I've always wanted to see Cambodia, even if I'll only get to the border area on this trip. Four towns, fours hours, and a few naps later, we've arrived rather uneventfully at the border. At least in this area of Thailand (and I imagine a good bit of the rest of the country), most people live in towns or small cities. No bamboo villages here. I guess you'd have to travel up to the hill tribe areas to find actual villages, and from what I hear, those are disappearing as well.

But enough of that, I'm at the border. We arrive at the border and spread out around the official buildings is a large market. We drive under a large, pale yellow arch. The large text on the arch proclaims this area to be the "Golden Gate Plaza," and I have to smile a bit.

If you've ever packaged up a box of clothes and American goods to send to Cambodia, and wondered, as you dropped that well-taped box off, what actually happens to the goods, well ask no more. They end up here, in the Border Market. Cambodians, it turns out, don't particularly like hand-me-downs either. They started crossing the border to sell the contents of their packages and buy clothes they liked; and thus the market was born. It now sprawls around border control, and from what I could gather, contains just about anything you'd want to buy.

Mr. D and I park, and head off to border control to get started on obtaining a Cambodia visa for my jaunt across the border. Unfortunately, things have changed since he was last here, and we end up wandering around trying to find the entrance to the crossing. I'd like to note here that as a foreigner especially in Asia, it's a good idea to look like you know what you're doing. Looking lost attracts all the wrong sorts of people.

Rather unsurprisingly then, we're ambushed by two eager looking young men in grey polos sporting a travel company logo. They insist that they can get me over the border and back quickly with minimal hassle, for a small fee. I'm not that excited about the idea, but we are a bit lost, and they do look official, so we let ourselves get herded back to a restaurant where they have set up shop. They ask for my passport, fill out the documentation with a speed that suggests a comforting familiarity and then disappear, reassuring me that they'll be back in about 15 minutes with the visa.

Having your visa disappear in the hands of a stranger, no matter how reputable he looks, is just downright scary. We sit at the restaurant and minutes tick by. I figure that I might as well order some food and ask for a plate of fried vegetables and rice. The waitresses who have been standing around eyeing the customers scurry to work. No one looks very happy in this place. There seems to be an air of resignation that hovers around the wait staff. I look over the counter and watch the cook stir a huge pot of rice.


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Thursday, February 1, 2007

We Got a C+

First, I'm going to admit that yes, I did steal the blog title from my friend Scott Fogg's myspace blog entry. Sorry Scott, it just worked well.

Secret of the Cave, a film that we've both (and the entire film school at Southern Adventist U's School of Visual Art and Design) poured a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into is finally making a little dent in the film community. We picked up a Crystal Heart award at the Heartland Film Festival, and now it seems that Independent Critics has reviewed us, and in my opinion, it's a good, fair review. I think it represents the film quite well.


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Plug

I'd like to encourage y'all to head over to Lulu publishing and check out "Interminable Peace", a novella by my friend Eric Watts. The book also includes a collection of his short stories. If quirky sci-fi and clever, if slightly twisted humor is your thing, you'll have a blast with these stories. Eric and I studied together at Bogenhofen in Austria and he's an up and coming novelist. Go support a fellow starving artist!
He even flattered me by using my image on the back cover...hmmm, not sure what I think of that Eric, we'll see what your readers think.


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